The Playstation
by S. A. Dickon
Summary: Remus tries to hook up his playstayion, grill a cheese sandwhich and other "muggle" realated things, with no help from Sirius.
1. because every magical person has one

Disclaimer: It all belongs to my fellow 2 initial then last name writer, J. K. "you  know the rest" Rowling.

The Playstation

"What are you doing?" asked a very concerned Sirius Black as he entered the living room.

"I am trying to hook up this playstaion!" yelled back a very aggravated Remus Lupin. Sirius always knew from when he was young to never question his friend when he gave him that look, that looked that just screamed "don't bother me, I am obviously trying to do something that does not require your help, nor acknowledgment," but he was still worried that his friend choose such a primitive activity to pass the time.

"Why not just get a playstation 2? I mean, it has better graphics and a DVD player, and the Dance, Dance Revolution has like 30 more levels on it!"

"Because Playstation 2 doesn't have a good version of Metal Gear Solid, I mean come on man, duh."

"That's funny, I never really thought of you as the "Metal Gear Solid type, but that's not the point, why are you even playing around with that muggle junk? And you know you could still play it on a PS2, even if it's a PS1 version!"

"Because it's the point of the matter, just because something is new and improved, doesn't mean that as soon as you find something "new and exciting" you just dump your old "friend", I mean, you cant just get rid of the old, what ever happened to tradition? And honor? Alright fine, take your stupid playsation 2, I don't care, just leave me alone so I can plug this stupid-OH MY GOD, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS THING! I mean, it's totally un-chivalrous"

"I just asked about a freaken' game module, you don't have to get all up in my face and talk about your "morals" and "beliefs" I mean, my god Remus, it's a freaken game, a muggle brain rotting machine, that's all they are!

At this point in time Remus had finally plugged in the red-yellow-and white wires into the TV, turned the VCR to "line 1" pressed the power button on the PS, when all of a sudden the power fussed and the TV and the PS just pretty much exploded in a great huge whirl of smoke and fire.

"Hungry?" asked Lupin, as he dropped the control unto the ground.

"Sure" said Black, and they walked into the kitchen to never speak of this again.

(A/N) theses thoughts occurred to me while I was trying to hook up my PS1, yes I did want to play MGS and DDR, and then I thought, what if Remus and Sirius did this? Which made the experience a whole lot better. Please R&R, this is my first Fic, and the first day I popped a bubble with bubble gum!


	2. exactly how would they grill a grilled c...

Disclaimer: It all belongs to Mrs. Rowling 

The grilled cheese "sandwich"

"So, do you know what you feel like eating?" asked Remus as he took out some bread and some cheese slices.

"Well, it would seem as though you have already made a decision, which I might add is a very good one!" added Sirius at Remus's gaze.

"Well, well, well, it would seem fate would have another idea." Responded Remus in a very dramatic-would-be-on-broadway-and-win-a-tony voice, "The bread is stale, and, moldy, and extremely decrepit, so, you know what this means?"

"We will have to order out, I kid I kid, so, what to do with moldy, oh pardon me, stale, moldy, and de-crepit bread? We can feed it to the birds?"

"Why Sirius, that is an amazingly kind thing for you to suggest, yes I think you should go outside and feed it to the birds, oh that's right I forgot, YOU CAN'T! HAHAHAHA!" Remus couldn't help but get even for the mocking of his grand bread speech.

"Ouch, that one hurt man, anyway, I wouldn't trust the ducks around here." He said as he shined an apple.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, they could be spies!"

"Are you suggesting that Voldemort would send out ducks to spy on us? C'mon man, and even if he did, I would be more concerned that he knew where we were than if he sent spies, especially duck spies, well actually I would be a little concerned that the greatest evil in history sent out ducks to do his bidding, but that's not the point!" he added with a merry chuckle.

"Quit laughing, I'm not talking about "duck, duck spies", what if they were animagi watching us, and we just step outside and feed them, Oh here you go! And some bread for you! Oh and by the way Harry is in here too! And you know Snape? And how he betrayed you? Well... HA! Well, that last bit would be kinda cool."

But Remus was already outside, and throwing bits of bread unto the neighbor's lawn, and eyeing every duck as they passed.

(A/N) Well, you wanted more so there, I know it wasn't as good as the first, but anyhow, I went to Old Navy to buy a cardigan in then I realized, I look terrible in a cardigan! Anyway, this might be a weekly, or monthly thing so keep an eye out! And once again this was based on an event in my life, so with all that said, bye and thanks for all who reviewed!


	3. I dont know what the J stands for, but i...

Disclaimer: blah blah blah J. K. Rowling blah blah blah owns blah blah everything!

Howl: The Life and Times of Remus J. Lupin

"_It was a dark and stormy night, well not exactly stormy, but there were many "o" cloud in the sky, anyway, the moon shone high above me when I heard a rustling in a nearby bush, I slowly approached it and "Remus have you seen the remote?"_

"No I haven't, now can you please keep quiet, I am trying to write a musical about the memoirs of my life!"

"Ok but if you do happen to come across a memory of where you put it, because I know you had it last Mr. Book TV junkie, then would you please tell me?"

"Alright, now if you'll please."

"Please what?"

"Shut up!"

"Ok"

_I slowly approached the bush in question when I heard a howl that screeched through my being, and teeth that ram shacked my flesh. I awoke in a daze a day later..._

"_HOW CAN THIS BE, WHAT DOES IT MEAN?"_

"_REMUS, YOU ARE A WEREWOLF!"_

"_A WEREWOLF?!?"_

"_A WEREWOLF HORROR!!!!!"_

"_AND I JUST FOUND THE REMOOOOOOOOOTE!_

"Oh dash it all Black, what is it?"

"I found the remote, I just thought you would like to know"

"Congrats Padfoot, really."

"_OH WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVRE THIS PUNISHMENT OF ALL PUNISHMENTS? I HAVE NEVER CHEATED ON A TEST? OR STOLEN? OR DONE ANYTHING WORTHY OF SUSH SUFERING!!!!!" _

"_AND, OH MY GOD, THEY CANCELLED HETTY WAINTHROP!!!!!"_

"SIRIUS! WHAT NOW?"

"THOSE SCUM SUCKING WEASLES! THEY REPLACED HETTY WAINTHROP MYSTERIES WITH MRS. BRADLY MYSTERIES!"

"Oh the humanity, now Sirius, I am asking you, please, as a friend, could you please be quiet for a while, it is very hard work writing a musical!"

"Especially about something as dull as your life!" Sirius mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, mum!"

"_Well, unless it included me_" thought Sirius, as he began to actually enjoy Mrs. Bradley Mysteries as much as he did Hetty's. _Why the heck is he writing a musical?_ He thought after hearing very badly sung operettas and off key piano "noise." Sirius and Remus were the best of friends, especially now, but even though he was an adult, one of Sirius's favorite past times can be summed up with one word.

_Pranks. Or Prank would also work nicely or Prank-ee, well, you get the idea._

So, even though they were friends, he still couldn't help but get just a little pleasure out of pranking (or "messing with" would also work) his old, and even older with actions, beloved Remus. So walking rather loudly to the kitchen, Sirius poured himself a glass of milk.

"_NO ONES, BETTER THAN HOGWARTS, NO ONE HAS QUITE AS MUCH KNOWLEDGE AS HOGWARTS, NO ONE TAKES BETTER CARE OF THEIR STUDENTS LIKE HOGWARTS!"_

_lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick _

"GOOD GOD MAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?, Are you, OH MY GOD, SIRIUS, ARE YOU LAPPING YOUR MILK?!?"

"Maybe" he replied with a wicked smile.

"That's it, I am out of here!" and Remus walked downstairs and slammed the door.

"_Perfect!"_ thought Sirius, and he turned the his digital cable to the "Show Tunes" channel and began singing along with "Lily's Eyes" from "The Secret Garden."

(A/N) Ok, well, this is based on true events; really Hetty Wainthrop Mysteries was my favorite show, anyway, I shall give one of three prizes to whom ever will guess 2 out of the 3 musicals on which I spoofed. (clue:) one of them was actually mentioned, and no its was not "The Secret Garden" but that is relevant to where my name comes from, oh and extra points if you get that as well.


	4. The PS2 part, 1

The PS2 part 1 

It was a bright sunshiny day, the birds were chirping, some kids were playing on a nearby yard (one hit his head against Grimmauld and was mystified by the "invisible barrier") Not to mention the Halloween decorations were still lazily spread about. Remus lay on the couch sulking, now, Remus J. Lupin hardly ever just sat and sulked, but as he sat there staring at the remains of his once proud PlayStation; there really wasn't much for him to do but sit and sulk. The countless hours trying to overthrow an evil terrorists group from nuking the world had poisoned his once proud mind, and so, Remus sat on there, on the couch, starring at the blank T.V. screen. After Remus gave his fifteenth sigh, Sirius stormed out of the kitchen in a pink apron and a frying pan (which he was holding menacingly.)

"That's it, I have had it, if you are soooo bored, why don't you just go clean your room!" Sirius joked.

Remus groaned.

"Alright, alright." Sighed Sirius, he knew perfectly well that Remus' room was completely and inadequately spotless.

"Why don't you read a book, remember, how you used to r-e-a-d b-o-o-k-s?" Sirius made sure he pronounced every syllable as painfully long as he could.

Remus slowly got up and put on his coat.

"Where are you going?Just remember you havehave duty tonight!"

But Remus was too ashamed to admit were he was going, and Sirius knew perfectly well where he was off to, Best Buy.

"Have Fun!" Sirius chuckled, as Remus shut the door.

When Remus got there, the place was packed; people were running around and screaming at the poor dumbfounded temp. workers that wereonly hired for the holidays. So, he was pretty much on his own. Unknown to a lot of people, Remus J. Lupin is not as poor as you might think, he has a secret bank account, set aside only for gaming funds. Whenever he bought a new game, people just thought it was Sirius, and Sirius just thought it was people, so it worked out pretty nicely. After checking out, Remus (looking as tired as ever,) got back to Grimmauld place. He had in his hand a……PS2, a device so horrible, it can only be matched by the ungodly Xbox. The PS2 went against every moral in Remus' body. '_After all_,' he thought, '_When will the game phase end? They'll just keep re-doing every game module, just look at Game Boys; they're too lazy to even think of a good name for every new model, now all they have is numbers and initials! And least we forget our dear old friend Dreamcast?' _

But there he was, hooking up the demon seed, the step 2 of the destruction of all mankind….

……._but after all, he isn't considered part of mankind, is he?_

And he flipped the "on" switch on, and began the Dance, Dance, Revolution.

(A/N) So, we are back on track to Remus and his beloved PlayStation(s!) sry it took so long, but im writing some other stories, one is a spoof of A Christmas Carol Harry Potterfied (though im sure its been done before) and also an advneture story about Remus trying to cure his werewolfness, shamless plugging anyway, what i wanted to say is that this part takes place on 11/7 or around there, you'll see why later!!!and also, as you can tell i need a beta reader, so if you are intesrested let me know! later...


End file.
